A Drawer at The Time

Scrubbing, sponge, more scrubbing, adding detergents, still not perfect, crusted spots! How many of us enjoy cleaning the refrigerator on regular basis?
I honestly don’t but I enjoy to see the afterwards results so even if it is a drawer or two at the time, I forced myself to make the time and just begin the uncomfortable job!
Today I found a large drawer that truly needed attention! I began by checking if anything needed to be toss away and got the good out on the counter. Lots of water, soap, and scrubbing made the drawer as good as new. But while inspecting the drawer space in the fridge, I found several old dry stains that took extra time to get rid off. And I began to think about my life… That spiritual center of my heart that needs daily TLC… I need God entering those spaces that no one sees, the past betrayal, all the abandonment, the rejection and the lonely moments. I need to come honest, vulnerable so my Lord can deal with the consequences of my past decisions, with the bad, and the ugly! And it is so good to know that my Father God won’t grow weary of scrubbing the crusty stains on my life. That even if it’s painful, and a lengthy process, my God is patient and more than able…
While I was cleaning the far end inside the refrigerator, I noticed some old stains are harder than others. There might be missing, hidden spots and so in my heart, there will always be, while on this earth, a hidden spot that only God can see and heal! But there will be a day when everything is exposed, everything impacted by Christ love, pure then, free and whole!
Meanwhile, I’ll give my Lord this large drawer, He knows exactly what to do with it!

For “Reflections” by Roxana Reyes Davis
4/13/24

Rose of Sharon, photo by Roxana Reyes Davis

¡Imagínate Eso!

 

Imagínate eso…,

 

Que un pájaro flotando por encima de las nubes,

Sacudiendo sus alas para mantener su velocidad,

Al seguir la ruta del vuelo,

decidiera de repente

Que volar es demasiado difícil.

¡Imagínate!

Que a pesar de estar en el camino indicado,

Repentinamente se detenga,

Un sentimiento le aterra,

Un pensamiento que engaña,

Un tropiezo en su vereda,

Algo se rompe de repente,

Presión

Mientras flota por encima de los vientos…

 

Imagínate eso…

 

Un pez que se niega a danzar sus aletas,

Una corredora llegando a la última curva de la carrera

al acercarse a la meta,

Una pierna dolorosamente se le entumese.

¿Seguirá hacia adelante a pesar del dolor?

¿Caerá y tal vez un día recuerde

Lo que hubiera sido el cumplir su sueño?

Imagínate eso…

El tiempo es tan solo una pausa,

Una coma en la oración de nuestras vidas,

Y la fuerza es solo un minuto,

Una pregunta que resolver

En el camino de nuestro éxito.

Éxito es perseverar

Mientras mantenemos el vuelo

Y el ir y venir está en el viaje

No es de otra manera.

 

Imagínate que nosotras

Conquistemos los vientos

O las olas del océano

O el doloroso camino

De llegar a la línea final de la carrera…

 

Imaginémosnos como conquistadoras,

Como más que vencedores…

¡ Imagínate eso!

 

Traducción Poema escrito en Ingles “Imagine That…” 08/08/2018

Roxana Reyes Davis 01/25/2024

For Louriana…

Unconditionally Loved

By Roxana Reyes Davis

As the night begins,

the moon smiles to me.

Across the distance,

I lay down on my crib,

So small, so freshly new,

And I wonder,…

My thoughts travel around my light green walls,

Flying through and through

those lavender fairies above my crib.

Will you love me still

When my tears become too many,

When my words – not formed yet-

Come out of my lips as unending cries?

I am so small,

There’s no control, and you,

You are just beginning to know me,

Will you love me?

I need to know,

Please won’t you tell me,

Will you love me when my tantrums become obvious

In the middle of a mall

And everyone seems to look at us

And you’re burning inside…?

My words will be limited then

And you might be overly concerned.

You might look to the outside

And feel judged by the world.

But to me, you are the world!

Will you let me know that it is all right even when

I’m unable to control these powerful emotions,

Will you let me know that you love me still?

As the years pass by,

I’ll surprise you with my individual process.

I will often disagree with your values.

I’ll be inclined to reject your brilliant ideas

And your expectations.

Your dreams for my life might be

Totally opposite of what I want to pursue.

Will you let me know that above everything and anything,

Your love for me is unconditionally strong?

You’ll be all the world I’ll see for a while,

But for a life time you’ll be the parent I’ll have.

I’ll learn to see God through your eyes.

I’ll know me and others through you!

****

Because of this,

My thoughts fly high tonight.

I pray for mom.

I pray for dad.

Prayers are sweet  whispers

From the heart of a child.

…And I heard those whispers

As she closed her eyes late at night,

“God, remember my prayers,

the ones I lift up to you this day,

and those prayers I’ll say later in life.

And Lord, when I’m too grown 

to remember You,

please remind me that You love me still,

even if I forget how to love You!”

Amen!

rrd@copyright2016

Loving the Unlovable

I know if I search for this title many other written pieces online will show up and even published books! But this thought came to my mind this morning and I feel compelled to write on the matter.

Loving what hurts to love. Loving those that have rejected me. Loving some close by and loving some from far away ( for loving doesn’t require my physical presence as a requirement)!

And so it comes to mind loving those uncomfortable times when things in life don’t flow the way I want them to be, when those I loved most make choices far from what I would prefer for them to do. I realized there’s more to hate than to love… But I’m asked to love the unlovable and how can I do that?

I must look at Christ’s walk! I need His life to bring light to mine! He is the ultimate example of what love truly means. No other man has been able to forgive the way Jesus forgave! It was at that cross over 2,000 years ago, that Jesus paid the price so the whole world and me, could have relationship with our Father God…

But looking isn’t enough, I must look deeply, back at the way Christ has loved me! He loved All of me and transformed the unlovable moments, sins, doubts into a new testimony of faith!

Today I’ve been pressed on by people’s actions I do not like. At moments I can’t receive or understand others’ actions and yet God calls me to sacrifice my comfort and just love, love with the power He has loved me… I cry, I yield, and I choose the narrow path.

Roxana Reyes Davis

10/25/23

The Station

( A Poem observing the world, my world…)

Rushing,

running down the hallways,

the clicking of coins,

the cry of a child,

a young woman passes by

and I seek for the right door

walking in confusion…

I tried to ask one question

but find no willing ears.

No one stops,

there’s no time,

the train is arriving

and I must go,

and so do they…

We each a different destiny,

avoiding interaction each of us

in a sea of deception

searching for answers.

Each train it’s own schedule.

Each passenger quietly traveling.

The journey has its unique turns,

and twisted pathways,

and no one cares if you arrived already

or if you are still sitting on a bench

at the train station.

I often watch the world around me,

In amazement

but other times,

a sense of lonesome ache

overtaking my memories…

At times I’m sitting on a passenger’s corner,

and others, I am the one still,

waiting for the next train,

sitting on a dull bench by the station.

I’m unseen then

but watchful,

and even though my voice is timid

for an instant,

I’m just writing stories

for another moment…

And I’m waiting…

It’s just another day

at the train station…

Of Seasons and Reasons

“For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven. A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones. A time to embrace and a time to turn away. A time to search and a time to quit searching. A time to keep and a time to throw away.”

Ecclesiastes 3:1, 5-6 NLT

— Of Seasons and Reasons —

I am so grateful to God for my life. and mostly for those life lessons that he allows me to face, endure and learn from . Recently I’ve been meditating on those seasons of life, when God brought crucial people to bring light in the midst of a very obscure situation. Those that shared their time, encouraging words, shared their bread and even a corner in their homes to help me and my family to overcome a difficult moment.

Oh, I will be forever grateful to them and I bless them wherever they are at this moment.

Others brought hurts, many tears and even loss. I allowed them into my life but still, God used even what was meant to destroy, to build me stronger, for growth and maturity. The painful lessons became, over time, transformed in my inner being. Instead of pain, I’ve gained wisdom. Godly wisdom spreads light into other’s lives as we shared our story with them.

Seasons of nature are temporary. Natural transformation, expectation of changes, each with a purpose in order to welcome the next.

And so, we humans experience changes, seasons, some harder than others but necessary for our individual journeys on this earth, and for me as a believer of Christ, a door into my eternal purpose.

It makes me meditate on my introduction subject, remembering the people God has used along the seasons of my life. Some were there briefly. They met their calling and continued their walking until I no longer could see them. God brought others and each season became somehow different and unique and often more challenging than the previous one.

I realize as I move into my next Garden-pathway, this has become time to serve others, to use my life lessons, to be the listening ear or a shoulder were someone else could cry on.

I’m grateful for those people that God brought for many seasons. The ones that no matter the distance, when I see them again after a long period of time, it feels like it was only yesterday we were sitting at my living room, updating each other on our personal challenges, victories, certainties and doubts.

It is so crucial to be open to our Holy Spirit Counselor. His guidance in life can protect us from many unnecessary burdens. If only we can listen to God’s tender whisper to discern the kind of season we are walking in. To discern if it’s time to let go of a relationship that’s destructive or when it’s time to move forward into our next Garden path, because at times we can become too comfortable with our present lives to realize we’re becoming stuck and no longer experience growth!

There’s a reason for everything even if we can’t see it at the time. The understanding might come later in life.

When we yield to God’s prompts, life becomes richer, more abundant! We become less impulsive, able to develop our listening spiritual ears!

May the Lord guide us and help us in this journey of becoming what He has already lovingly designed for each of us. In Jesus’s Name I pray, Amen and Amen.

Roxana Reyes Davis

Hey, Lover Boy, Lover Girl, Lessons learned through Singlehood…

On this day I celebrate you, the single ones, the ones that wonder if that special person will ever arrived! I celebrate those that, like me, were pushed to a label of divorcee or widower, those that stood up to the call of single parenting. I have been married, 3rd time around for over 21 years now but my previous years taught me lessons of high value, lessons that I want to share with you if you give me a few minutes of your time!

For everyone reading these lines, you are more than a label! The world around us often push into our minds a definition with a box of expectations that we “supposed to live by”! Not so! You are a unique person of value, with talents, with experiences to share, with weaknesses as every human has and it is all those aspects of life and more, that makes you who you are. A label is too narrow to even begin to fit a person’s description!

It took me many years of being in a box to break the cycle of labels and embrace who I am and I’m still discovering aspects of value, there’s unending beauty in discovery!

Lessons… Experiences I can share with you today. Singlehood isn’t a curse! It can be a season or it can be a life style for each of us have unique callings. Something I learned, I’d rather be single than to have the wrong person beside me. How can we find the “right” one? Oh, it would take me several books or just a few lines. We ain’t perfect, you know! But you and me can work in ourselves. In those seasons in life while we wait, let’s work in our own lives pursuing growth, seeking for those broken pieces that need mending, healing before we embrace the next. I personally truly dislike the imposition of the “experts” that will tell you, “before you remarried, you need to wait 10 years…. 5?, 4 years therapy process, date several people before choosing, no?” Have you heard statements like that before? I don’t dare to call myself an expert but I also don’t dare to box others in my unique calling. I, however, accepted the challenge of sharing my lessons hoping that you’ll find a word, a line that brings light or understanding into your unique story.

Single parenting… I believed my children needed to have a “perfect family”. For me that was described as a dad, a mom and their children. I aimed at that vision but had to stand at my calling as a single mom for many years. I am not perfect, I made many mistakes and because of that I can love a little better today. I would say embrace the process, enjoy the moments, each developmental season has challenges and beauty, find the beauty in those seasons. Value yourself, value your children, God’s given gifts!

I am currently working in a touchy area “relationships”. There’s always room for improvement, growth, understanding. Looking back as a single woman, I engaged in several relationships that I needed to tossed along the way. I learned, as painful that it was at the time, that healthy love would welcome me and my children, the whole package or none. Sometimes selfishness becomes the motive behind an unhealthy relationship. Time can be wasted, hurts can then accumulate and those we love most can suffered because of our own poor choices.

Talking about choices, another lesson, poor choices don’t have to define my whole life. I’ll need to work with the consequences but there’s always room to stand and turn toward a better life, a moment, a day at the time!

How would you describe your future dream partner? ( That is if that’s in your wish list!) Loving, compassionate, respectful, a good listener? Cultivate those qualities in your life. If you value, as I do, having a close relationship with God through Christ, embrace that relationship with God on daily basis and allow God to lead you, that means to yield to His Voice as we open ourselves to begin new relationships of friendship or even consider marriage in our future.

My last lines, I remarried over 21 years ago… I can only tell you that God’s grace and mercy have been the glue of this next chapter. Next to my husband, 3 unexpected miracles, our 3 children together, health challenges, financial loss, loss of loved ones, midlife crisis, senior years, retirement adjustment, roller coasters of life…. It requires commitment, feelings and emotions will failed us but our yielding to do what’s best on behalf of the other, becomes a more solid foundation. However, as I yield to my calling, I have to admit that God deserves all the credit!

No matter your present situation, I hope you’ll find yourself willing to stand up to this day, reach out to a loving God, (that’s my Fountain of strength) and keep living, keep growing, there’s hope in your next!

(and if you’re able leave a note, share what’s in your heart after reading these lines! Prayer requests are definitely welcome!)

Roxana Reyes Davis

2/14/2022

Reckoning of Times

When I turned to my blog in search of safe ways to express these thoughts… The other options have failed me. They seek to steal my thought process, they want to silence my Voice, burying my posts, to erase my history from the years back til the present moment…

Fears of writing these lines to see them disappearing a second later! Wondering if I can still recollect my previous insight, I’ll try. Over and over again I will lift my written Voice as a gift to whoever has a heart to care to read my humble words. Words can be humble but nevertheless still be powerful!

I am reminded of lifting my eyes to Jesus! Trust God most Child! This world agendas have nothing to do with Your calling or your purpose! And Heaven mandates displaying over God’s people demonstrate God’s power, are coming! Christ my King is above my fears and my failures! He is above men discourses, their lies and pretentious impositions. There are miracles in those mantles of grace prepared for God’s children so we can stand once again to respond to our calling. The harvest is ready Child, lives are ready to come to Jesus, in need of loving truth! This is our Time!

( Thank you Dr. Kynan Bridges for being a Servant no matter what, we stand believing our Lord of lords)

Roxana Reyes Davis

First Times Remembrance

(singing)

“Grabbed it all around,

loving sweetest Child,

rock her softly within,

within the warmth of your arms…”

Never found a moment

dearest as this is,

loving that face

oh so tenderly.

Tracing every new feature,

kissing each tiny toe,

counting for the first time

her fingers as she holds mine

in exploration tease.

Never found a moment

dearest as this!

Such a small baby

resting on Momma’s chest,

both with closed eyes,

dreaming of one another,

exchange of whispers

and those first sounds…

The sounds that newborns

bring to the world,

of womb sea breathing

and ocean waves.

I closed my eyes

picturing those tender moments,

longing for minutes

that once filled my nights…

How can a mother forget those exchanges?

How can a mother deny herself?

She truly can’t

once the sounds,

the visions, the embraces

become a part of her heart…

Caused I’d never found a moment

dearest as those faraway moments,

engraved in our hearts forever,

the small cries and heart beats

of Momma’s baby Child!

By Roxana Reyes Davis

3/30/2021

For my babies; for Azul Celeste and her Mami and Papi

The Bucket

(Original POEM written on February 10, 2021 by Roxana Reyes Davis)

Lord,

my bucket is empty!

It has been full at times

(not because of anything I did on my part)

but because of You at work in my life…

Oh God,

so many times this bucket has been knocked down,

kicked around, its content deliberately spilled…

Once was new,

shiny as gold,

but now,

now is tainted,

thinner, rusty and old…

But I’ve seen it transformed

Lord,

I’ve seen that bucket between Your fingers

being transformed,

patiently, lovingly…

I’ve seen You washing the stains,

rubbing off ancient marks,

recovering brightness,

refilled with Your mercy and grace…

But today Lord,

I kneel my soul at Your feet

and beg You to take a look at this bucket

because once again

its not what it used to be.

Please Lord,

wash my bucket with unending flow,

rubbed off every deceptive stain,

bitterness, rejections and hurts,

nameless nights, broken expectations…

Please Lord,

forgive me for being careless with my bucket,

I’m bringing it to You,

because You are the Only One

Able to RESTORE!

Oh Lord,

and once You wash it with mercy flow

fill it abundantly with Your unending LOVE!

Love that survives the daily lacks,

love that endures as I face seasons of loneliness and doubts!

Fill my bucket Lord,

I pray daily to You,

as tears poured down from my eyes…

I am Yours Lord and You are mine,

beloved Christ Jesus lover of my soul!